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But when does lying become a problem? What are some of the common lies compulsive gamblers tell? About 2.5 million middle school and high school kids vape in the U.S. Muzinic L, et al. Research explores the link between pornography and sexuality. Why Vaping Is So Dangerous for the Adolescent Brain, How We Enable Self-Destruction Out of Love, Why We Need Protections for Employees in Recovery, How a Stronger Body Can Transform Your Identity. They make up stories that sound real enough that people believe them. Many people who lie a lot will react poorly if you show anger. Take screenshots (link to how to make screenshots), and download credit card statements (if you have access to the accounts). Ken Hondais an expert in the psychology of money and happiness, and the bestselling author of"Happy Money: The Japanese Art of Making Peace With Your Money." Nonpathological lying is commonplace and not a sign of any disorder. can help them confront the root of their lying and may lead to changed behavior. You have landed here because you noticed signs your partner or spouse is lying about money. Understanding the different types of lying, and the reasons why people do it, can help you work out the next steps in your relationships. Psych Centrals How to Find Mental Health Support resource can help. We all tell lies occasionally. Feeling like the next big purchase is the one that will really improve your life. Accessibility It can help to encourage pathological liars to work with a therapist, although you may not want to suggest it as a punishment for lying, he explains. It often begins when in the teens and continues indefinitely, into all areas of life. You feel strongly that money shouldn't influence important decisions in life. Money advice: Seek positivity around money conversations. 2023 Psych Central, a Healthline Media Company. The thrill of risk and promise of reward is a pleasure unto itself that you can quickly get lost in. Anyone can become a compulsive spender. Women rely on veiled aggression towards other women (behind verbal gymnastics or under cover of the group) rather than physical confrontation. You may be talking with a pathological liar if you notice: One study reported that about 13% of people identified themselves as pathological liars, says Zrenchik. The list below isnt designed to paint either of you as the villain. Signs you might be a Compulsive Moneymaker: You believe that earning more money is the secret to happiness. Kids tend to lie most between the ages of 13-15 because of the intense push for freedom at this stage. If someone lies to you a lot, you can learn to spot their lies. Treating this behavior is complicated. You lack confidence in your abilities to achieve financial freedom. Many people tell small lies to avoid unpleasant consequences, like saying they were late because of traffic instead of admitting that they overslept. Occasional dishonesty is natural. 2023 Psych Central, a Healthline Media Company. In addition, to help you cope with those feelings of anxiety, disappointment, anger and frustration, I highly recommend self-hypnosis. This lying often occurs long-term and can pose a risk to the . 1 source of stress in their lives. Extreme examples might include taking out a second mortgage behind your partner's back or opening a secret bank account. Lying is their normal and covert yet reflexive way of responding to questions. In extreme cases, they can be at risk of going bankrupt if they consistently spend more than they earn. Studies show that pathological liars tend to include details that can't be verified.. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed . They feel ashamed of their spending habits and piled-up debts. Pitfalls: It can be emotionally exhausting when the pendulum swings from compulsive saving to compulsive splurging. Instead, suggest it as a means for them to better understand who they are and how they came to perpetuate such behavior.. depending on a partner or spouse to do the work for them). All rights reserved. It may bring them comfort and security to make things up. Continually spending despite resolutions to stop. They think you dont trust them, even though theyve never done anything to betray your trust. Instead, let them know that you know they're lying and stop the conversation. Suggest medical treatment. Jun 15, 2019. Relational Money (also includes Financial Dependence and Financial Incest): Financial Infidelity: Telling "little green lies" about one's spending or finances to one's partner, like making purchases outside an agreed-upon budget or lying about the cost of a big-ticket item. So, lets start with why your spouse is lying about money. If a person experiences dishonesty as a symptom of a mental health condition, receiving treatment can help improve their well-being and relationships. Hypnosis Audio Downloads Carnahan KT, et al. Other sources of worry . But not always. Playing video games mimics the kinds of sensory assaults humans areprogrammed to associate with danger. Curtis DA, et al. These lies often serve no obvious purpose other than to paint oneself as a hero or victim, depending on the circumstance. Pseudologia fantastica in the emergency department: A case report and review of the literature. Overly dramatic or long stories. The Reasons Someone Looks at Porn Matters. Lying is a common behavior in humans. Pitfalls: Some Compulsive Savers are so afraid of losing money that they go their entire lives without spending any of what they worked so hard to save. Sample language for how to be more self-compassionate. You can make your connection with them contingent on their getting therapy with a trained professional, says Dr. Daramus. Lying about cancer for money while giving sick people false hope is morally repugnant #BelleGibson #auspol FakeJakeFarr-Wharton (@JakeFarrWharton) April 23, 2015 Some signs of compulsive spending include: How Compulsive Spending Affects Your Life. The person may believe that they can't control their lying behavior. Contradictory stories. Narcissism and substance abuse have similar genetic predispositions. Compulsive buyers continue spending money even when doing so causes them emotional or personal distress, even when they have little money to spend, and even when the things they buy give them no joy or go unused. How Schizophrenia Impacts Cognitive Function, New Research: Moderate Drinking Provides No Health Benefits, An Important Reality for Navigating Grief. Here's the definition of polished, what it means to have a polished personality, and how to carry yourself in a polished way. Im a couples therapist after all, and we look at both sides! Experiencing betrayal can be difficult. Remember your own role! He has owned and managed businesses, including an accounting company, consulting firm and VC corporation. However, its important to avoid taking the persons lies personally and remember that their compulsion to lie reflects more on them than it does on you, says Dr. Romanoff. | Lying without good reason. If you notice this, they may be lying., Unverifiable details. Hoarding. They might blame you in an attempt to hide how ashamed they feel. But when it comes to establishing financial health, one thing most people fail to consider is their money personality type or their approach and emotional responses to money. Pitfalls: It's smart to be aware of what could happen if you don't prepare for your future. Psychiatr Res Clin Pract. For example, you could say: Encourage the person to see a mental healthcare provider who can help them understand why theyre lying, diagnose whether they have an underlying mental disorder, and help them develop healthier coping mechanisms. They may be dishonest about many things, including seemingly unimportant things. A 2016 study notes that the brain gets accustomed to dishonesty. If you have a pattern of pathological lying, you may: lie indiscriminately about a wide range of topics. Small lies about finances can lead to even more damaging behaviors in your marriage. Updated on 8/15/2022. Compulsive Lying is the type of behavior exhibited by people who lie repeatedly for no obvious reason or reward. Pathological lying is a condition, not a symptom of something else. Compulsive shoppers are consumed by their money worries. According to Dr. Daramus, people who lie compulsively may do so because they have a mental health condition such as: However, its important to note that everyone who lies compulsively doesnt necessarily have a mental health condition and everyone who has these mental health conditions isnt necessarily a compulsive liar. Your spouse may be hiding money and debts and evencompulsivelylie about their financial matters, meaning youve probably never really trusted them. The basics of financial health aren't complicated, and we are all capable of mastering them, no matter who we are, or our level of wealth. In that case, keep looking for evidence for another few weeks before confronting them again with the facts. Listen intently, being curious about what led your spouse to ly about money. You rarely think about money (and just the idea of creating a budget makes you nauseous). Compulsive gambling, also called gambling disorder, is the uncontrollable urge to keep gambling despite the toll it takes on your life. Narcissists are often pathological liars, because they simply don't care about the truth. And if they tell lies a lot, then you will notice these behaviors often. (2018). Doing all these things can save you a lot of financial stress in the future. Sharpless BA. As human beings, we tend to make poor decisions when were emotional. 3. They consider you to be tight with money. It may have developed as a coping mechanism to help someone get their needs met, says Dr. Nancy Irwin, a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. Curtis DA, Hart CL. Money disorders are persistent patterns of self-destructive and self-limiting financial behaviors. You get pleasure from the approval and recognition from other people for your financial success. They've opened credit card accounts in your name. 3. You can take our quiz to find out. Pathological lying usually happens for years. You could also suggest they access professional help and close accounts, reducing regular outgoings, cancelling subscriptions, cutting up cards, etc. Those with other mental health conditions may lie to cover up their symptoms or habits, such as people with substance use disorder or impulse control disorders. Perhaps theyre not only lying about their finances, but they lie about anything and everything. Experts look for four main behaviors when trying to figure out if someone is a pathological liar: Excessive lying. I want to be upfront with you - ", Tijdschrift voor psychiatrie: "[Pseudologia fantastica: definition and position in relation to axis I and axis II psychiatric disorders]. maintain reasonable and low debt, have an active savings plan, and follow a spending plan), we don't just become materially richerwe become emotionally wealthier as well. They involve issues like compulsive buying, money hoarding and pathological gambling. Speak to someone at your bank, a debt counsellor or a financial advisor. They've opened personal credit card accounts in their name. Copyright policy Even before the recession, 3 out of 4 Americans identified money as the no. So compulsive spenders end up chasing a dopamine high, just as a heroin user might chase the next great heroin fix. Well take a look now at any further consequences. Pathological lying is when someone lies frequently such that it impairs their social, work, financial, or legal functioning. (2021). Undermining relationships. Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Check out:Meet the middle-aged millennial: Homeowner, debt-burdened and turning 40, Get Make It newsletters delivered to your inbox, Learn more about the world of CNBC Make It, 2023 CNBC LLC. Experts have researched the situation, hoping to determine if perceived signs of lying are accurate. Financial Enabling becomes increasingly common among family members in a down economy, when there is sense of guilt about less fortunate relatives. Buying a large number of things you do not need. By Sanjana Gupta Pathological lying was originally called pseudologia phantastica, a term coined by psychiatrist Anton Delbrck in 1891 to describe people who told so many outrageous lies that the behavior was considered to be caused by a mental health condition. Theyve made out-of-the-ordinary purchases on credit cards. According to some estimates, approximately half of adults find it difficult to be in long-term intimate relationships. Compulsive Liars: How to Cope With Their Lies. If you believe you are being lied to, remain calm. When you're in emotional distress, your solution is to spend, especially for immediate gratification. Is your temperament more optimistic or pessimistic? Lying is a common behavior in humans. Both will help you understand what might cause your compulsion to lie to yourself about money. Its perfectly fair to expect your partner to be honest and upfront so that the two of you can openly discuss your finances. Instead, hold firm to what you know to be true and allow the other person to disagree, he says. Psychiatrists use the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) to diagnose disorders. The only way you may succeed in getting them to open up is by beingnon-confrontational! But pathological liars dont have a clear motive. It can be confusing, frustrating, and traumatic to be constantly lied to, but there are ways to cope. If someone you know lies to you a lot, look for. They consider that you often make a mountain out of a molehill. Trying to curb your spouses spending habits, as explained below, involves gathering evidence. It can help you do things like spend less on impulse purchases, be better about budgeting, invest wisely and ensure a nice nest egg for retirement. People who engage in compulsive spending respond to negative emotions. Emotional manipulation is sometimes difficult to spot. They may develop elaborate lies to mask their symptoms, particularly when the symptoms are stigmatized in society. A pathological liar exhibits the chronic behavior of habitual or compulsive lying. That let's them know you realize they aren't fooling you with their outlandish stories. When you do use your savings, you might spend on things you don't need or will rarely use. Like other addictions, compulsive spending tends to escalate over time, with spenders needing to spend more and more money to get the same high they once achieved with a single purchase. If a loved one is living with a mental health condition or substance misuse, knowing the difference between supporting and enabling behaviors may help. No, most people lie from time to time and it isnt an indicator of pathology. Wondering whether you have high, medium, or low self-esteem? Burnout is blamed for the Great Resignation, a nursing shortage, and the incredible fatigue many feel during the holiday season. Some people even consider it to be a form of addiction, whereby the liar lies in order to gratify some psychological impulse much like an alcoholic, smoker, or gambling . Compulsive buying disorder: A review of the evidence. When it comes to investing, we could learn a lot from the living dead. With record high debt and record low savings rates in the years leading up to the economic crisis, the average American seemed to suffer from a money disorder. An accumulation of different things that just dont add up. Many white lies are only partially false or exaggerate the truth. My comprehensiverelationship testcan help you figure it out. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. You may find it helpful to watch videos on lie detection from mentalist and hypnotherapist Bedros Spidey Akkelian on The Behavioral Arts YouTube channel. Pathological lying, also known as mythomania and pseudologia fantastica, is a chronic behavior in which the person habitually or compulsively lies. Compulsive Buying: Compulsive buying is overspending on steroids. Psychotherapy or counseling can help the person understand how their lying impacts others. www.professional-counselling.com 2022, what to do when your spouse is lying all the time, how to deal with your partners shopping addiction, connect with an online expert relationship coach, This site is hosted by the super-fast and ethical Lyrical Host, 13 reasons your spouse is lying about money, 4 ways to encourage them to stop spending, What to do if youre here because youre lying. All Better Relationship articles Getting the person into treatment can be problematic. Depending on the amount of money involved, it can jeopardise your financial security and, thereby, your emotional well-being. Regardless of the reason for lying, it can be upsetting to be lied to. No medication will fix it. On discovering that your partner has been lying about money for whatever reason, its understandable if you feel knocked off your perch. Brad Klontz, Psy.D., an associate professor of financial psychology and behavioral finance at Creighton University, is author of Mind Over Money. Out-of-control lying is known as compulsive or pathological lying. The truth may be a foreign concept to them. Some compulsive spenders find assistance through 12-step programs such as Debtors Anonymous. If youve never concerned yourself much with the household budget, now is the time to take control. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Farisha ATP, et al. Thom R, et al. Pathological lies represent a trait rather than an impulse. That means snooping on your partner, which is definitely not something I would typically recommend. In the rush of holiday gift-buying, virtually everyone begins feeling a bit flustered. You've discovered evidence of a secret joint loan. The lying is not a symptom of other mental illness. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. (2022). Contact, Privacy/cookie policy You share common traits between Moneymakers and Spenders. People who engage in compulsive spending respond to negative emotions by spending money. Psychiatric Times: "Pathological Lying: Symptom or Disease? You can take this test to find out. Pathological lying: psychotherapists experiences and ability to diagnose. Here are eight potential reasons why your spouse is lying to you and being secretive: 1. I also recommend that youconnect with an online expert relationship coach. But that isnt the cause of their lying. And were not even talking about any otherrelationship issuesyou might have on top of his secrecy. You get. You may have landed here not concerned about your spouses lying but wondering if hiding money from your spouse is wrong. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. When people feel that they cannot rely on you to be truthful, it impairs your trust with friends, family, romantic partners, and others in your life. Just about everyone has a complicated relationship with money. There is a good chance that the habitual liar has a personality disorder. What Exactly Is the Biopsychosocial Model of Addiction? Cancel or upgrade your subscription at any time. PostedJanuary 30, 2010 If someone you know lies to you a lot, look for these signs. When they have to lie all the time to cover up what they're doing, the lying can become compulsive, even if it didn't start out that way. Compulsive liars have a need to embellish and exaggerate, says Paul Ekman, PhD, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California in San Francisco and the author of Telling Lies, among other books. Compulsive lying is often considered pathological behavior and can be caused by many different issues such as bipolar disorder, anti-social personality disorders, psychosis, among others. So, if someone is a compulsive liar, theyve probably had to handle some tough situations where lying helped them cope or kept them safe.. I know things are tough on you right now. If the spending problems are due to an addiction, expect your spouse is likely to deny all wrong-doing. 9 signs your partner or spouse is lying to you about money Here's what financial infidelity looks like: Without your knowledge, your partner or spouse has applied for loans in your name. Statistics and Facts, When Everyone Else Is Married with Children, avoiding offending someone they care about, protecting themselves from a perceived threat. 'I work just 4 hours a day': This 29-year-old's side hustle brings in $2 million You put away money endlessly, sometimes with no actual end goal in mind. Pathological and compulsive lying arent listed as a disorder, and therefore have no formal treatment protocol. Cues to lying may be deceptive: speaker and listener behaviour in an interactive game of deception. Depending on the origin of your spouses problem, they may not be willing or able to change their behaviour. WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Loy JE, et al. (2020). A person who. Financial Enabling: Giving money to others whether you can afford it or not; giving when it is not in the other's long-term best interest; having trouble or finding it impossible to say no to requests for money; and/or even sacrificing one's own financial wellbeing for the sake of others. Its also called pseudologia fantastica or mythomania. It isnt listed as an official diagnosis in the psychiatric guidebook called the DSM-V. 2. Mental health help, The information on this site is intended for educational purposes only.It should NOT be used as a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. To determine if perceived signs of lying are accurate of guilt about less fortunate relatives big..., most people lie from time to time and it isnt listed as hero! Close accounts, reducing regular outgoings, cancelling subscriptions, cutting up cards, etc perhaps theyre not lying. A look now at any further consequences in addition, to help cope! Open up is by beingnon-confrontational in the future humans areprogrammed to associate with danger also known as and... T fooling you with their outlandish stories mythomania and pseudologia fantastica, is author of Mind Over money think money. Deceptive: speaker and listener behaviour in an interactive game of deception compulsive pathological... A disorder, is author of Mind Over money Mind Over money lying. Youtube channel incredible fatigue many feel during the holiday season you have landed here not concerned about spouses! Drinking Provides no Health Benefits, an associate professor of financial stress in teens... Who lie a lot, look for between Moneymakers and spenders Navigating Grief disappointment, anger frustration! Could happen if you show anger lies about finances can lead to even more damaging behaviors in abilities! N'T prepare for your future rush of holiday gift-buying, virtually everyone begins feeling bit... Is the time to take control Statistical Manual of Mental disorders ( DSM-5 ) to disorders... To time and it isnt listed as a heroin user might chase the big! So, lets start with why your spouse is likely to deny all wrong-doing also called gambling disorder and. To determine if perceived signs of lying are accurate will notice these behaviors.. Or able to change their behaviour long-term intimate relationships have on top of his.! Exaggerate the truth and pseudologia fantastica in the rush of holiday gift-buying, virtually everyone begins feeling a bit.. About money ( and just the idea of creating a budget makes nauseous... Doing all these things can save you a lot, then you will notice these behaviors often pleasure. You nauseous ) financial success why your spouse is lying about their finances but. Feel during the holiday season attempt to hide how ashamed they feel ashamed their... The toll it takes on your life Health condition, receiving treatment can the... Not something I would typically recommend partner 's back or opening a secret bank account nauseous ) other. Regardless of the intense push for freedom at this stage the no behaviors when trying to figure out if you... Their spending habits, as explained below, involves gathering evidence sense of guilt about less fortunate relatives up... Opened personal credit card accounts in your name and review of the group rather! Drinking Provides no Health Benefits, an associate professor of financial stress in the future not something would... Policy you share common traits between Moneymakers and spenders speak to someone at your bank, debt! Playing video games mimics the kinds of sensory assaults humans areprogrammed to associate with danger risk and promise of is! Your abilities to achieve financial freedom be at risk of going bankrupt if they tell a! About your spouses spending habits and piled-up debts the secret to happiness them again with the household budget now., medium, or low self-esteem lie indiscriminately about a wide compulsive lying about money of topics resource can help them the. A pathological liar exhibits the chronic behavior in which the person understand how their lying others... Listen intently, being curious about what led your spouse is likely to deny all wrong-doing need from a near. Suggest they access professional help and close accounts, reducing regular outgoings, cancelling subscriptions, up! In addition, to help you need from a therapist near youa service... The U.S. Muzinic L, et al frequently such that it impairs their,. False or exaggerate the truth aren & # x27 ; ve discovered evidence of a Health... An indicator of pathology, is the time to take control money n't. Treatment can be at risk of going bankrupt if they tell lies a of... Games mimics the kinds of sensory assaults humans areprogrammed to associate with danger it difficult to be constantly to... Someone at your bank, a nursing shortage, and therefore have no formal treatment protocol intently... Especially for immediate gratification patterns of self-destructive and self-limiting financial behaviors their social, work,,... Before the recession, 3 out of 4 Americans identified money as the no & # ;... Can lead to even more damaging behaviors in your abilities to achieve financial freedom hide how ashamed feel! Uncontrollable urge to keep gambling despite the toll it takes on your partner to be in intimate. Only lying about money areprogrammed to associate with danger may find it difficult to be to! Up chasing a dopamine high, just as a disorder, and products are for informational only! Such as Debtors Anonymous of self-destructive and self-limiting financial behaviors games mimics the of... Chasing a dopamine high, medium, or legal functioning: a review compulsive lying about money! Nauseous ) gambling despite the toll it takes on your life be lying., Unverifiable details the.: Excessive lying and can pose a risk to the listener behaviour in an attempt to hide ashamed. Psychotherapists experiences and ability to diagnose notice these behaviors often sensory assaults humans areprogrammed to associate with danger of! An important Reality for Navigating Grief a personality disorder areas of life you share common traits between Moneymakers spenders! Will rarely use on the origin of your spouses problem, they develop. Getting the person may believe that they overslept a mountain out of a secret joint.... Is wrong for another few weeks before confronting them again with the budget... Achieve financial freedom lying but wondering if hiding money from your spouse is lying to you a lot then... Budget makes you nauseous ) people for your future person into treatment can help them confront the root their. Creating a budget makes you nauseous ) know they 're lying and stop the conversation and traumatic to aware... All Better relationship articles getting the person habitually or compulsively lies through 12-step programs such as Debtors Anonymous not I! Drinking Provides no Health Benefits, an associate professor of financial psychology Behavioral... Commonplace and not a sign of any disorder compulsive lying about money lies are only partially false or exaggerate the.!, as explained below, involves gathering evidence both sides condition, receiving treatment can be confusing,,. Liars bend the truth the rush of holiday gift-buying, virtually everyone begins feeling a flustered! Make things up lying Impacts others problems are due to an addiction, your... Weeks before confronting them again with the household budget, now is the type of behavior exhibited by who. Formal treatment protocol improve your life 2016 study notes that the two of you can learn to their. University, is author of Mind Over money of his secrecy and self-limiting behaviors. Hypnotherapist Bedros Spidey Akkelian on the Behavioral Arts YouTube channel a case report and review of common! Perceived signs of lying are accurate truth about everything, large and small also! To yourself about money idea of creating a budget makes you nauseous ), then you will notice behaviors... Those feelings of anxiety, disappointment, anger and frustration, I highly recommend self-hypnosis or Disease situation... You are being lied to lying about money extreme cases, they can be emotionally exhausting when the are... Free service from psychology Today impairs their social, work, financial, or self-esteem... Should n't influence important decisions in life people for your financial success potential reasons why your spouse is lying you... Cope with their lies common among family members in a down economy, when there is of... Towards other women ( behind verbal gymnastics or under cover of the common lies compulsive gamblers?! Nonpathological lying is the type of behavior exhibited by people who lie repeatedly for no obvious purpose other than paint. Manual of Mental disorders ( DSM-5 ) to diagnose disorders now is the time to take control the! About your spouses lying but wondering if hiding money and debts and evencompulsivelylie about their financial,... May believe that they overslept about their finances, but they lie about anything and everything resource can help their... Of reward is a pathological liar: Excessive lying other than to paint oneself as a of..., also known as compulsive or pathological lying: symptom or Disease gambling. As a disorder, is a chronic behavior in which the person habitually or compulsively lies influence... Involved, it can be emotionally compulsive lying about money when the symptoms are stigmatized in.! Here are eight potential reasons why your spouse is lying about money have high, medium, or self-esteem!: compulsive buying is overspending on steroids emotional well-being it helpful to watch videos on lie detection mentalist. Be lying., Unverifiable details only partially false or exaggerate the truth about everything, and... Believe you are being lied to commonplace and compulsive lying about money a symptom of Mental. Spending money will help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service psychology... Confront the root of their lying behavior your compulsion to lie most between ages... Perceived signs of lying are accurate earning more money is the one that will really your! Case report and review of the reason for lying, it can jeopardise your financial success may have here. In long-term intimate relationships medical advice, compulsive lying about money or treatment mask their symptoms, when... More damaging behaviors in your abilities to achieve financial freedom, depending on the Behavioral Arts YouTube channel in... Is the type of behavior exhibited by people who engage in compulsive spending respond to negative emotions by spending.. A therapist near youa FREE service from psychology Today Impacts others money for whatever reason, its if...

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